Mature Persons in Love

“A mature person does not fall in love, he rises in love. The word ’fall’ is not right. Only immature people fall; they stumble and fall down in love. Somehow they were managing and standing. They cannot manage and they cannot stand – they find a woman and they are gone, they find a man and they are gone. They were always ready to fall on the ground and to creep. They don’t have the backbone, the spine; they don’t have that integrity to stand alone.

A mature person has the integrity to be alone. And when a mature person gives love, he gives without any strings attached to it: he simply gives. And when a mature person gives love, he feels grateful that you have accepted his love, not vice versa. He does not expect you to be thankful for it – no, not at all, he does not even need your thanks. He thanks you for accepting his love. And when two mature persons are in love, one of the greatest paradoxes of life happens, one of the most beautiful phenomena: they are together and yet tremendously alone; they are together so much so that they are almost one. But their oneness does not destroy their individuality, in fact, it enhances it: they become more individual.

Two mature persons in love help each other to become more free. There is no politics involved, no diplomacy, no effort to dominate. How can you dominate the person you love? Just think over it. Domination is a sort of hatred, anger, enmity. How can you think of dominating a person you love? You would love to see the person totally free, independent; you will give him more individuality. That’s why I call it the greatest paradox: they are together so much so that they are almost one, but still in that oneness they are individuals. Their individualities are not effaced – they have become more enhanced. The other has enriched them as far as their freedom is concerned.

Immature people falling in love destroy each other’s freedom, create a bondage, make a prison. Mature persons in love help each other to be free; they help each other to destroy all sorts of bondages. And when love flows with freedom there is beauty. When love flows with dependence there is ugliness.”  
— Osho
Question: How have you seen the truth of this in your own life?

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  • Timothy M. Malnar

    I do not know what to comment on first???

    The fact that you quoted Osho or the poetic timing of this post?

    I guess I just chose Osho, eh? I was given a copy of his ‘Book of Secrets’ eight years ago as a gift, and it has, indeed, been a magnificent one. The awareness that man operated in is staggering (wisdom).

    As far as the timing … I just hit ‘Send’ on an email that was addressed to your inbox about twenty minutes prior to reading this post. The theme is similar in articulation and parallel in spirit. Thanks for posting, Dave!

    • Thanks for reading and commenting, Tim. I hadn’t realized Osho was the guy I remember from my childhood as Bagwhan Shree Raghneesh. Fascinating. This is a great piece. Not all of his stuff is as one can quickly see on his website, but if one is willing to not throw out the baby with the bathwater, he has some really great stuff.