More Boundaries with Parents

fence -- more boundaries with parents
Check out my first post on this topic

What if the military were ordered to set up a perimeter around a certain area and keep people out, but kept complaining, “People are always coming up to us and begging us to let them through. It’s really hard not to! Or they keep just slipping through our perimeter and doing whatever they want to do. They are out of control and there’s nothing we can do. They won’t honor our boundaries!”

What would you say to these military commanders? Probably something like, “Of course people won’t honor your boundaries! The reason the boundary is needed in the first place is because people so desperately wanted to get into this area where we don’t want them to go. Do your job!”

So it is with personal boundaries. Creating personal boundaries is like setting up a perimeter. You are determining that certain people will not be permitted into certain physical/emotional spaces in your life. It’s your job to keep them out.

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Gays Bullying America: Our epidemic of anti-straight discrimination

bachmann -- gays bullying america

Check out this audio clip of Michele Bachmann talking about how gays are bullying America:

Wow. How poignant. I didn’t realize how many gays have targeted their straight classmates in schools and picked on them mercilessly.

I guess I hadn’t heard about gangs of gays tying straight people to fences, beating them within an inch of their lives, and leaving them to die alone in the wilderness.

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Is Fear of Criticism Keeping You From Pursuing Your Dreams?

building your dreams - pursuing your dreams

Do you sometimes feel like the main reason you don’t get busy pursuing some of your dreams is the fear of criticism?

If so, I get it. I’m with you.

Most of my life I had a passion for writing, but what kept me from really pursuing it was the fear that if I was successful, people might criticize me. What if I couldn’t handle that?

That fear is a huge one, and it will hold you back big time. Trust me, I know. I’m 46 years old and just finding the confidence to let the world hear my voice.

But I’m doing it now. I finally stopped worrying about what people think of me.

“So what changed?” you might wonder. Here are some insights I have developed over the past few years as I have ever-so-cautiously cut loose and begun to make my voice heard. 

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How to Learn Humility

From this Sunday’s sermon…

Trust me, the way to learn humility isn’t to cower in fear and refuse to be all you are gifted to be, criticizing those who are successful, thinking you could do so much better. It’s to get out there and take a few risks, use your gifts, and start letting life kick the crap out of you a little bit. As you sit cowering in your fear, you may feel humble but it’s false humility. It’s like the football player who never leaves the bench but criticizes the way everybody else is playing. As long as he never gets off the bench, he can feel superior to everybody else. Once he gets out on the field and starts taking his lumps, he’ll get things in proper perspective pretty quick.

So you learn humility by competing, by doing your best with what you have been given. As you’re taking your lumps, suffering your own rejection, and growing from it, you will come to respect many of the successful people you currently resent because you’ll see some of what they had to go through to get where they are.

Listen to the whole sermon from which this excerpt was taken

Things You Should Know About Therapy, prt. 2

things you should know about therapy -- guy talking to psychiatrist

Therapy may often feel ineffective

When you go to counseling, chances are good you will expect it to be something other than it is. Some people expect very little to happen. Others expect it to “fix” their problems. Many people think therapy is about getting “advice.”

But therapy is unique. It’s not like talking to your mother-in-law, or seeing a doctor who will fix you.

You go into therapy with certain beliefs about who you are and how the world works, or should work. Chances are good some of these beliefs are flawed, unreasonable, even downright wrong, and that is probably why the actions you take based on those beliefs doesn’t work. 

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