“Girls, come downstairs! Mom and I need to talk to you.”
Our three teenage daughters bounded down the stairs and took seats in the family room two summers ago. Christy and I launched into our carefully planned lecture.
“Don’t get involved, girls, with men who won’t work. There is something deeply wrong with a man who will not earn a paycheck. I know you all know kids whose dads are lazy, and who always have an excuse for why they won’t get a job. But this is not normal, it’s broken. If you ever meet a man who tells you he’s ‘looking’ for work, wait until he finds it and see how long he keeps working. Don’t ever hitch your wagon to a man who won’t work. Avoid that like the plague. There is a brokenness to men who refuse to work that goes far beyond simply not working. It shows a complete lack of self-respect, and a man who does not respect himself will not — cannot — respect you.”
There is something wrong with a man who won’t work.
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Wow. Just wow. I grew up in this environment, and I'm telling you, this view is PROMINENT in the evangelical community. How I wish it weren't.
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See my review for the new Daniel Amos record, Dig Here Said the Angel, over at my other blog.
image from skeptoid.com
Read this apology from Kickstarter, and be sure to read several of the comments after it.
This is what hard hearts and gracelessness look like. While most people are very cool, some actually articulate, “Until I get answers to (x and y), I’ll have to assume you were up to no good.” Or “Too little, too late.”
It’s good to do research. It’s good to ask people to be accountable for their actions. I hope Kickstarter DOES respond to some of the questions being asked. But the attitudes are disturbing to me. As a leader, it makes my stomach hurt to be reminded that people are really out there who, despite acknowledgement of mistakes and a humble and sincere apology, still assume wrongdoing and want to see someone hang.
I have to meditate and clear my head when I see stuff like this, or I get sucked into that kind of sick negativity — not sucked in in terms of becoming graceless in that way, but in terms of allowing an equal and comparable negativity to grow in my own heart towards graceless people. Which is, of course, the great spiritual irony and leads to self-righteousness and pride.
I will do the work in my heart and head that is required to not become part of the world’s negativity. Still — I just do not understand this at all.
12 ways to intentionally cultivate character:
1. Do whatever you must do to come to sense how deeply you are loved by God.
2. Constantly make the choice you know is right instead of the choice that is easy.
3. Never say a bad word about someone else. As you get better and better with this, keep raising the bar higher and higher. We can never be too careful with words.
4. Learn to pray, meditate, and be in silence and solitude every day for at least some period of time.
5. Learn to control your mind and your thoughts.
6. Instead of finding reasons to excuse your wrongdoing, find reasons to excuse and forgive the wrongdoing of others, and deal with your own wrongdoing in prayer and silence.
7. Be quick to apologize, to accept responsibility, and to give credit away.
8. Put away anger and lust.
9. Determine to never again intentionally mislead someone about something.
10. Determine today to abandon forever all attitudes and actions that do not or cannot take you where you want to go.
11. Forgive yourself for your own mistakes, sins, and oversights, and accept the forgiveness of God.
12. Seek out whatever help you will need in doing the above — accountability, counseling, forgiveness, whatever it may be.
If you are not a praying person, do everything on this list anyway, without the prayer part!