Note: Before reading this post, you might consider reading the one before it that deals directly with the issue of men who don't work.
One of the TV’s at the gym this morning was doing a feature on women who get involved with convicted serial killers and marry them after they go to jail. It turns out that murderers and rapists are chick magnets. Who knew? Of course they only attract a certain type of woman, but I think it is that type of woman I’m talking about when I refer to women who love men who won’t work. A man who doesn’t work, or one who rapes, or kills, is like catnip for some women — they just find it irresistible.
Some may cry “unfair” that I lump all of these categories of men together, but I think it’s safe to say that all of these are considered bottom feeders in our society, and usually for good reason. While I’d be the first person to extend a break, and true compassion, to any man really trying to change, regardless of his offenses against society or any individual, I also believe in calling a spade a spade. Men who don’t work generally are bottom feeders, and commit social murder (or at least assault) all the time by sucking life — emotional, spiritual, mental, financial — out of others and using it for themselves.
So what is it that attracts women to men who won’t work? There are many possibilities and it’s different for each woman.
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“Girls, come downstairs! Mom and I need to talk to you.”
Our three teenage daughters bounded down the stairs and took seats in the family room two summers ago. Christy and I launched into our carefully planned lecture.
“Don’t get involved, girls, with men who won’t work. There is something deeply wrong with a man who will not earn a paycheck. I know you all know kids whose dads are lazy, and who always have an excuse for why they won’t get a job. But this is not normal, it’s broken. If you ever meet a man who tells you he’s ‘looking’ for work, wait until he finds it and see how long he keeps working. Don’t ever hitch your wagon to a man who won’t work. Avoid that like the plague. There is a brokenness to men who refuse to work that goes far beyond simply not working. It shows a complete lack of self-respect, and a man who does not respect himself will not — cannot — respect you.”
There is something wrong with a man who won’t work.
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Wow. Just wow. I grew up in this environment, and I'm telling you, this view is PROMINENT in the evangelical community. How I wish it weren't.
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See my review for the new Daniel Amos record, Dig Here Said the Angel, over at my other blog.
image from skeptoid.com
Read this apology from Kickstarter, and be sure to read several of the comments after it.
This is what hard hearts and gracelessness look like. While most people are very cool, some actually articulate, “Until I get answers to (x and y), I’ll have to assume you were up to no good.” Or “Too little, too late.”
It’s good to do research. It’s good to ask people to be accountable for their actions. I hope Kickstarter DOES respond to some of the questions being asked. But the attitudes are disturbing to me. As a leader, it makes my stomach hurt to be reminded that people are really out there who, despite acknowledgement of mistakes and a humble and sincere apology, still assume wrongdoing and want to see someone hang.
I have to meditate and clear my head when I see stuff like this, or I get sucked into that kind of sick negativity — not sucked in in terms of becoming graceless in that way, but in terms of allowing an equal and comparable negativity to grow in my own heart towards graceless people. Which is, of course, the great spiritual irony and leads to self-righteousness and pride.
I will do the work in my heart and head that is required to not become part of the world’s negativity. Still — I just do not understand this at all.