Suffering That Hurts vs. Suffering That Helps

suffering that hurts -- suffering that helps -- man alone suffering

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My original post on this topic concluded with these lines:

Both living in truth and living in falsehood bring suffering.

In my next post, I’ll talk about why the suffering that truth brings is better.

Have you ever had a terrible, miserable, horrible, awful experience that, when it’s over, you look back on it and say, “That was beyond horrible– but I wouldn’t trade it for anything”?

Most people have.

Severe illness of yourself or illness/death of a loved one.

A major business/financial failure.

A divorce.

To live is to have horrible experiences, to go through stuff that really, really sucks.

It sucks away your passion.

It sucks away your enthusiasm and joy.

For a while, it sucks away a lot of what you have always recognized as your life.

But when you look back on those experiences and know you wouldn’t trade them for anything, that’s because they were redemptive. Something good came out of them. You know you’re better for all the suffering you did.

You’re better. Or stronger. Or wiser. Or more compassionate. Or deeper. Or gentler. Or more humble, or calm, or patient, or honest.

You’re just better.

Often suffering isn’t in our control, but sometimes it is.

And anytime you  have a choice in the matter, always choose redemptive suffering over non-redemptive suffering.

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4 Reasons You Should Sign Up for my Email List Today

If you’re interested in my writing, you need to sign up for my email list. You may have heard this before and thought, “Why get more stuff in my Inbox? I’ll just go to the site once in a while.” Here are four good reasons you should sign up for my email list right now.

1. You won’t need to think about going to the site. My posts come to you. You can always hit the delete key if a post comes that you don’t care to read, but this way you lay your eyes on the headline of every post. Which means…

2. You won’t miss something valuable. If you’ve read much of my work, you know I write — almost exclusively — about stuff that matters. Big time. I write about self-improvement, the search for God, improving relationships, and other big topics. I write provocative things, things that make people think, things that if you take them seriously, it’ll change your life big time. Check around the web — my voice is pretty unique. You won’t get these views most other places. When my posts come to your Inbox, you’ll get to quickly and easily see what every post is about and decide whether or not it’s for you. The ones you miss when you’re not signed up could have been the ones that could have changed your attitude, your relationships, or maybe even your life.

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Pardon My Dust — Changing Theme on Website

I apologize for the mess on the site right now. I am making some radical revisions to this place! These changes will allow me to communicate more clearly with you than ever. I won’t announce a “finished” time, you’ll just notice the site changing a lot over the next few months, with stuff being added, changed, subtracted, cleaned up, etc.

It will be messy sometimes, but I hope it won’t often be annoying! I am sorry for the inconvenience, and so appreciate your patience.

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Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above may be “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

What You Can’t Afford Not to Know About Your Marriage

communication - what you can't afford not to know

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DISCLAIMER: This post contains a lot of generalizations, named such because they are generally true. They may not be true about you or your relationship.

One of the things I love about blogging is that I get to give away my secrets. In this post I’m going to teach you something so important that you simply cannot afford to not know it. As soon as I tell you this, you need to begin considering this stuff and building on this information that might be brand new. If you do, you will see communication in your marriage begin to improve almost immediately. It’s that important.

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The Reality That Is Making Me More Liberal (theologically)

Crowd of People -- working with people

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People who don’t work with people day in and day out, in the trenches of their lives, can afford to philosophize about people, to make up abstractions, and talk about the rightness/wrongness of people in philosophical terms, holding people up to their abstractions and deciding who fits and who is lacking and how so.

But in all my years working with people, for example, I’ve never seen “homosexuality.” Never once.

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